Sometimes, faith is enough.

 

To whoever reading this, welcome to another part of my so called 'spiritual journey'. 

You can read part one here; CLICK!

Disclaimer; this is somewhat sensitive to some people especially who are into religious things, but let me remind you I don't mean to offend anyone, I just tell stories based on my experience and my belief. If you are a sensitive one, it's okay to skip this story :)

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So if you have read part one of my story, I know what you're thinking.

"Coincidence. Nothing more."

I admit, we had the same thoughts. But since then, even until the time I'm writing this, more and more things have happened which made me think, "No. This is too much to be coincidence."

I'd like to think more of this as a way of how the universe works. Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty much skeptical person. But somehow, I believe that divine being do exist, I believe in God's plans to make us a better person, that if we prayed for something, we won't get the answer instantly but instead we got to go through 'series of events' which would lead to the answers we're looking for. 

And this 'series of events' I'm talking about, will be given and arranged through the universe. 

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STORY

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    Ever since I graduated from college, I was trying to find jobs in China. All I ever think of was, I had to stay there and continue living my life, it's a waste if I go back to Indonesia after all these years I've spent here. But then life gave me a ton of lemons. It was a really tough job-hunting journey. I did some interviews from the job I found online, but in the end I couldn't pass any. I was really stressed back then, as my student visa was going to expire soon and I only had few weeks left. In the end, I still didn't get accepted anywhere and had to go back.

    I didn't get to break free from stress too even after I went back. My family was always asking about how my job-hunting went every single day. Fortunately that didn't stop me from pursuing my dream to go and work abroad. After searching for jobs in Singapore, China, Malaysia, you name it, after 3 months finally I found a company which was looking for an Indonesian who's willing to work from China-Indonesia back and forth. I thought this was a good opportunity for me since I could still get to live in both countries for one job. I applied, and everything went well. I passed the interview and they hired me. That was the first job I got after graduated. They also decided to sent me to China for training and I was super excited! Like, 

    'YAY FINALLY I CAN LEAVE THIS COUNTRY!'

    (No offense, I looove Indonesia and its beauties, but for working I prefer to work abroad, for the sake of my salary)

    Anyway, I finally got to be back in China and stayed there for a month (because of my visa).

    One month has passed and I had to go back again to make working permit. This is where everything really started to go off. I know it's not easy to apply for a permit. You need a hell load of documents from A to Z. But I didn't know why, everything I have done back then was always ended up failed? From the simplest thing such as going back and forth to visa center for I don't know how many times already because I got rejected all the time, to the time I got really stressed and almost gave up, to crashing my car when I was on my way to visa center. Seems like something was telling me 'no, don't go'.

    The whole process of me making the permit took quite a long time, but despite of everything that happened, I finally got the 6 months working permit. I was so ready to go back, packed my luggages, almost booked my flight ticket.

    ..............

    Until pandemic happens.

    Yes, corona virus started to spread across China, just before I decided to book my flight ticket. I don't know what to call this if it's not how the universe was giving me warning signs not to go? I don't know what would happen if I went back, probably I wouldn't be here writing this story anymore? Or maybe I'd get depressed and lonely there because everyone had a family to go back to while I didn't? Even though China's condition is so much better than here afterwards, everything still leaves me questioning 'how?' 'why?'

    I don't know about you, but for me I believe this is how the universe works and nothing will change that. This is the second time I feel that something was preventing me from getting into conditions I shouldn't be at. Even after this, similar things still continue to happen as if my path has already been arranged for me and only me. I'll probably save more stories for next post if I had the urge to write again. Anyway, since then I always feel like the people I have met, even some of the experiences they went through, somehow have the impact to me. Either they let me have a better perspective, or to teach me lessons, sooner or later in the future. Everything has been arranged, what's not meant to happen to you, will not happen. What's meant for you, will eventually be with you. You just don't have the privilege to know 'when?'. So when things go bad or not according what I expected, I tell myself, 'just have faith.'

    So, do you believe in how the universe works?

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Cheers,

Daniela